the shit list

I'm fortunate enough to have traveled to some of the most beautiful Starbuck's in the world. The sport I excel most at is eye rolling. I've never overheard a conversation that made me think, "Wow, what interesting people." And if I could go back in time and talk to my younger self I would tell him to develop an eating disorder for attention.

Please remember: don't drink and drive, unless you're really good at it.

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thagal:

white boy: I havent said nigger for 3 days
girl: omg <3 You’re literally an amazing person xxxxx

(via stafflr)

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  • 90s Animal Planet: Animals are cool, kids! They can be your friends! But watch out, some are dangerous! Ooh, watch Jeff Corwin handle the most venomous snake in Africa! Aw, look at the tiger babies! Oh, let's learn about conserving the environment! Remember kids, we must respect this planet, because it's the animals' home as well!
  • 2013 Animal Planet: ANIMALS WILL FUCKING KILL YOU. And guess what? PARASITES WILL TOO! Yes I know those aren't really animals, I guess. OH YEAH HERE'S SOME PSEUDO-SCIENCE ABOUT BIGFOOT. He's an animal too, right? WATCH THIS WOMAN GET EATEN BY HER PET CHIMPANZEE. ANIMALS ARE SCARY, KIDS. BE CAUTIOUS AROUND YOUR PET LIZARD OK. oh look kittens!
  • ~~~~~
  • 90s History Channel: Here kids, we're gonna talk about this society today. History from all time periods and all countries. Isn't this stuff fascinating? Watch us dig up a tomb!
  • Early 2000's History Channel: So there's this guy named Hitler. And he's pretty bad. Let us tell you how bad Hitler is. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. Hitler. More Hiltler. Hey have you heard about this guy named Hitler?
  • 2013 History Channel: Aliens moonshiners aliens rednecks aliens pawnshops aliens aliens aliens hey have we mentioned aliens because aliens
  • 2014 History Channel: Was Hitler an Alien?
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zooeydeschannoying:

why are those “me/you” posts always so embarrassing?

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Permalink largecoin:

she has a framed photo of herself walking through her door
Permalink donvee:

Follow me @ http://donvee.tumblr.comDonvee